40 Days in Mayfield Women’s Prison; Chapter 15 Prison Officer Diary: boob job blues

Now been on one of the wings for a number of weeks and got to say one of the funniest sights ever had happened today. The inmates on my wing now know me and to be honest we have a laugh, but every now and then they do go overboard and today was one of those days.  It was a morning shift today so I was their wake-up call. At 8.00am sharp I start opening the doors, breakfast already set up in the kitchen area. Most still had their PJs on as they don’t have to be at work till 8.45am.

On the top landing I opened the double cell that’s occupied by a couple of females who enjoy each other’s company on a much larger scale, if you know what I mean. Anyway, they came out and greeted me, as they do, but one of them grabbed the other’s boob which I had to tell the girl not to. The girl’s boob who had been grabbed then proceeded to take of her top in front of me asking what I thought. She ignored my orders to replace her top then proceeded to run up and down the landing. Got to admit I was finding it funny as fuck, but had to stop myself from laughing, so once she came back in front of me she stopped in front of me saying, “don’t you think the doctor done a great job, what do you think sir?” I looked her in her eyes and came back with the reply, “no they are shit, now back to your cell,” guiding her back towards her cell. “But sir, they cost me 4 grand”. “They are still shit, and pack up coz you’re going to your own cell,” I said before slamming the cell door closed.

I had to laugh when my back was to the door. Let her out to do her work on the landing and she swept the area with a right mood on. It wasn’t until about 10 mins before I finished my shift did I tell her that I wasn’t actually moving her but she couldn’t do what she did again, which she agreed. The last part of our conversation was the question, “so sir what do you really think?” to which my answer was “hate fake tits so they’re still shit love.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s